“When the coalition troops invaded Iraq in 2003, I was at work in the break room as I watched the screen in disbelief with a few of my coworkers.  Most of whom, up to this point were not aware that I am an Iraqi. It took all of my self-control not to weep and scream and make some kind of commotion. I don’t know how I stayed so quiet because I could’t quite figure out what I was feeling, I was in complete turmoil. It was just a massive, enormous amount of emotion that was silently exploding deep within me. I guess this is a perfect example of bitter sweet. I was happy and yet very, very sad. I wanted to grab my coworkers standing around me watching the TV screen in amazement and tell them, “Don’t look at the screen! Here, look at me; don’t be amazed, I am living proof.” I wanted to tell them that I was one of those people that could have or should have been dead. Even though I am standing here very well blended and unrecognized, yet I am one of them. I enjoy all of the luxuries that a free life has to offer, yet I am still one of them. For the first time in my life I had the urge to shout out, scream and just plain cry out all of the anguish and the pain that I was feeling to just let my voice be carried up to the heavens. I knew my life was forever being changed but I could’t determine yet to what level. Was this actually happening? Is this for real? Will Saddam truly be removed? Has someone actually heard our muffled cries? Has the world finally become conscious of the abused nation that has been mute and in fear calling out for years to the world for help?

Has someone finally understood the mixed messages seen on the airwaves, as the Iraqi people were portrayed as loyal, devoted and happy with their leader? Did the world not see the terror in the nation’s eyes even though their lips smiled and paid tribute to HIM? Did they not see that the tears running down their faces were not tears of joy, but those of an isolated and battered people? The dancing in the street as seen on TV was nothing but orchestrated stage shows by the government to show the people’s allegiance to their leader. The people at gunpoint were forced to get out on the street and pay tribute to the traitor of his people, Saddam. This was the only opportunity the nation had to publicly act out the otherwise restrained emotions that for years were subdued and silenced. Has a rescuer finally arrived?

Living in America, I saw myself so removed from the concerns of a life left behind so long ago. Yet, the buried anguish of the long ago unresolved emotions has been awakened to bring about the current disorder of my mind. It’s as though someone has just hypnotized me and let me relive my past. All of a sudden the internal emotions have been awakened. I have often heard of people with suppressed memories and emotions who come to realize them later on in life as the cause of many mishaps in their lives. I was never a believer of these ideas since I could not understand how the mind could block memory. But I guess you could say that I became a believer. I could not believe the memories that flooded my mind once the doors of freedom were opened. It was as though for as long as Iraq was in oppression, my mind followed suit, and just as soon as the country was liberated my mind was released of its restraints. I could think freely, speak freely and act freely. How funny was that? Here I was living in the most powerful country in the world, yet I felt deprived of my freedom because my people were still in bondage, I was in bondage. I guess we that were lucky enough to escape, as individuals were free and clear from the physical harm that Saddam and the Ba’ath regime posed, but the spirit that connected us as a people, we were still united in bondage.  This is the only way I have been able to justify it in my head as to why I was not able to fully enjoy my freedom in America”.